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Oftentimes, people feel a lack of fulfillment in their lives due to not working purposely and frequently on what they’re the most passionate about.  As a former coach, I have often been asked how to find your purpose, big why or greatest passion.  I believe a person’s actual purpose can change throughout their lives.  It may stay the same for one person through their entire life, becoming their life’s mission.  For others, they can go through seasons in their lives where they are lead in one area and later change to something else.  

I have found the latter to be more my way of living, and for those of us like me, I believe there can be a variety of reasons for needing a change.

• Lack of appreciation in their current job – in The Charge by Brendon Burchard he states that lack of appreciation is the number one reason people quit their jobs

• Lack of mastery or growth – according to Tony Robbins, people are either growing of they are dying.  Continued growth in a specific subject, or in our personal development, provides energy to us. If we feel we have hit a wall in our learning about our current occupation or hobby, we may start to look for something new into which to pour ourselves.

• Life events – when certain milestones or life events occur in our lives, we often take a moment to reflect on how we are living life.  Maybe a stay-at-home parent whose children are now grown up or in school most of the day desires to fill some empty hours. Maybe a death of a loved one causes someone to realize they are not taking action in those areas of interest due to living the rat race.

• Boredom or a desire for something new – I believe many people just love the adrenaline or rush that comes with the excitement of the new or unknown.  We have all known someone (or been someone, cough cough) who likes to start new projects and never finish before moving on to the next.

• Wanting to make an impact – Often times we decide that whatever it is that we find ourselves doing with the majority of our time doesn’t feel like it makes any difference in the world or to others.  A lot of us have a true desire to serve or help others, to make a positive difference in others or in the world as a whole, and to feel like we matter, and that at the end of our journey here on Earth, our life had meaning.  

• Physical or health reasons – Sometimes we are actually happy going throughout our lives when wham, something physical happens which forces a change.  A football player can get hurt and no longer be able to play the game, a violinist may develop crippling arthritis in their hands, or stress may hurt the body in ways that causes someone to make a change away from certain activities and toward new stress-relieving activities.  This was my primary reason when I recently resigned my position as real estate coach of our brokerage and decided to focus on starting this blog.

Regardless of your reasons for wanting a change, the next step is to figure out what your next pursuit should be.  For ease of writing, I have interchanged the terms passion, calling, purpose and Big Why, although one could argue there are various differences between them.  

8 unique ways to determine your (next) purpose:

1. Test your current situation – before you go and resign a job you currently find mundane or give up a hobby that bores you or is too challenging, put a few things into practice to make sure it’s truly worth bagging.  Try truly pouring yourself into your work making sure to show up daily at your absolute best. Work at going the extra mile in your duties. Study your craft (whether occupation or hobby) to learn something new that can help you proceed in a fresh, new way.  Sometimes all we need to do is find a way to challenge ourselves or adjust our attitude and we end up falling back in love with our current activity.

2. Live your perfect day – Did you ever drift off during school into a daydream where you imagined yourself to be anywhere but school?  Maybe you were fighting dragons and saving the princess, or summiting the peak of Mount Kilimanjaro, or perhaps you were having tea with Oprah.  This is your chance to live your fantasy world once again. Find some quiet space, get out a journal or laptop, grab a cup of coffee or a glass of wine (or both) and think about your ideal day.  Write or type every detail you can picture in your mind of how you would spend those 24 hours. What would you be doing (list every activity in which you would participate)? Where would you be (inside/outside, urban/rural, at home/or cross the world)?  Would you be alone or would others be there as well (if others are present, who is there with you)? What is the weather like? How are you feeling? Once you are done, go back and read your description. Look for any golden nuggets that may give you clues about your strongest passions.

3. Meditate or pray – This one commonly shows up in articles on this topic, however, I haven’t found much about how to actually get the answers you are seeking.  It is important to start your meditation or prayer by asking the specific question you are seeking such as, “What is the next step I should be taking toward my life’s purpose?”  This question is not as overwhelming as trying to figure out all you were meant to do. It merely asks for just the next step. Also, by inserting “right now” into the question, you are bringing a sense of urgency to the answer you are seeking.  Now comes the hardest part; the listening. This can come in a variety of forms I have discovered.

1. • If you are meditating, you are focusing on your breathing and often times random thoughts will enter your mind.  You proceed to push the thoughts away and get back to your breathing. Continue in this way until your meditation is over, and then reach for your journal and write out any of the thoughts that you remember popping up into your mind.  Look for clues

1. • During prayer, you have asked your Creator for some guidance.  Notice if any thoughts enter your mind that keep distracting you from finishing your prayer.  Also, keep noticing as you go about your days, if your body randomly gets what I called “pinged” like in the gut (intuition) or the same topics keep entering your mind and you have no idea why.  This may be God trying to lead the way. You can continue praying about any of the suggestions that you suspect may be leading you until you have your specific next steps.

1. • Pay attention to those around you.  My business partner says when she hears of a suggestion three different times from outside sources (other people, books she has read, or television shows, anywhere, really) she knows it is a message for her.  Once is merely something someone said. Twice gets her attention to question it. Third is her confirmation.

4. Get out of town! (in your imagination) – This is where you get to use your imagination once again (if you aren’t sure how, ask any kid between the ages of 2 and 12).  This time you are going to take a trip. You’ll be traveling by yourself to a deserted island for a month. To prepare for the solitude, you know you will need to take some entertainment that doesn’t require electricity.  You head to Barnes and Noble and grab all the books and magazines that interest you the most. In your mind, walk into the bookstore, and picture yourself walking to the various genres that most interest you. Then walk to the magazine section which happens to seemingly include every single magazine on the planet, and start throwing all of your faves into your basket.  Now, walk up to the checkout counter (don’t worry, in your imagination, your checking account has plenty in it to pay for everything you have selected. See, your imagination is amazing, right?) Now, as you put your selections onto the counter, notice each and every title and topic and write them all down. Look for clues in the topics you have chosen as they represent your interests and passions.  Perhaps, you’d like to explore those areas for possible careers or hobbies. Brownie points if you actually drive to the bookstore and complete this activity in person. (The brownie points do not get you anything, except maybe some new books or magazines that you didn’t know you needed.) Note: You can also go online to the magazine section on Amazon and “walk” through the genres online if you haven’t been to a bookstore since your dad dragged you every weekend in the 80’s while he was studying for his PhD (oh, that was just me?).  Ok, I’ll admit it…I actually LOVE bookstores and even wanted to open a used bookstore when I was younger. 🙂

5. List yourself – Get out that handy-dandy journal (hopefully you bought one in number 4 above if you didn’t have one already (or check out these fun ones by Dayna Lee) or notepad.  Set a timer for 5 to 10 minutes minimum. Start creating a gigantic list of everything you love doing or would be interested in learning to do, every good word that describes you or every good word you wish would describe you, and any words, objects, people or experiences that make you happy.  Keep writing the entire time period until the alarm goes off. If you still have ideas flooding to you when the timer goes off, stop the alarm and keep writing until your hand feels like it is going to fall off. Read back through your list and circle any that make your heart go pitter-patter more strongly.  Then choose one step you can take within 24 hours toward one of the items you have circled. Then, you guessed it, take that action step with 24 hours and then plan the next step and your next deadline. Rinse and repeat.

6. Interview your inner-circle – Have you ever found yourself cringing every time a friend mentioned their latest relationship because you just absolutely knew it was doomed for disaster or that they were not right for each other?  Of course you have. How did your friend not see what was before their own eyes when it was so obvious to you and others? Because we are often blind when it comes to seeing things for ourselves. Make a list of your inner-circle.  You know who they are and they know who they are. The ones closest to you who at least know some of your deepest secrets and you know some of theirs. The ones who tell you the ugly, brutal truth even when you don’t want to hear it.  The ones who care enough to want you to be your best self and won’t allow you to settle for less. Then go interview them. Ask them how they would describe you, what are you the best at doing? What are you “known” for in their eyes. How do they see you?  What could they see you doing with your life, or where do they see contributions you have made? You might be surprised to hear what they think about you and where they see your strengths. Maybe you’ll hear some new ideas you hadn’t thought of before.

7. Whistle while you work (then journal about it) – Yep, you’ll need to get out your trusted secret-keeper once again for this one.  This one will take a little consistent work. Each day for an entire week, jot down your activities, thoughts and moods morning, noon and night.  Upon waking, take a few minutes to write about your mood and your thoughts about how you are going to be spending your day. Then set a timer every two hours.  Each time the buzzer rings, grab your journal and jot down the main activities you spent that time doing (and don’t just say, “worked”, get more detailed such as “updated profit and loss statements”) as well as note your current feelings about those tasks and your current mood.  Continue with this every two hours during your entire week, with your last journal entry each day detailing your overall thoughts and feelings about how you spent your day. Make sure you do this over at least a week so that you capture your downtime such as the weekend or days off as well as time you spent during your job and weekly responsibilities.  After the week is over, go back and read how your moods changed as your participated in the various activities of your week. Pay special attention to those areas where your mood suffered the most and brainstorm ways to lessen the amount of time you spend carrying out those duties (such as hiring a professional house cleaner if you absolutely detest scrubbing toilets).  Also, pay the most attention to those areas where your mood was at it’s highest. Brainstorm ways to incorporate more of these into your daily routines.

8. Get a little something on the side – Many times we like our occupations or are not in a position to jump ship at the moment, yet, we need something additional to add some zest to our lives.  New passions or purposes do not have to be full-time, and they don’t have to be something we are paid to do. One option is to start a new hobby, or two or ten. What was something you always longed to do as a kid and never got the chance to (or you haven’t been able to since childhood)?  Go find a mastermind or meetup group (try www.meetup.com for countless options or start your own and find others who have that same interest) or look for a class at your local recreation center or community college.  Even www.youtube.com has instructional videos for anything you would love to learn.  Another option (and one of my favorites) is to serve others. I have never felt more alive then when I have spent time thinking about others in need instead of myself.  Research some local not-for-profit organizations that interest you and call them to find out the various ways they could use your help. If you aren’t sure what types of causes or projects you would most enjoy, a fabulous organization called Points of Light (PointsofLight.org) can help.  They specialize in helping connect volunteers with a large variety of organizations for two to four-hour projects with no long-term commitment by the volunteer.  You can sign up on their events calendar for any projects you choose and try them all out to discover which ones you most enjoy. Or continue to rotate your service opportunities around so you always have something new to do.  You’ll make a big impact in an area of need all while helping create some self-awareness of the causes that mean the most to you.

Regardless of the strategies you choose to incorporate, the key is to just take an action.  If you get “pinged” to travel to Malaysia to see how tea is made, or your brother tells you he thinks you would be a great helicopter pilot, any step you take doesn’t have to be permanent.  Our path to our purpose in life is the real journey. We are never stuck anywhere we find ourselves. We always have the choice to stop, look around and make a turn down a different path. Sometimes, our path leads somewhere completely different and other times that left turn just leads us in a loop right back to where we were but with greater knowledge or energy.  Don’t get hung up on where you have been, where you currently are or even where you’re headed. Take time to enjoy the journey all along the way.