REST is not a four-letter word – 3 surprising benefits to allowing yourself rest

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Rest has become a hot topic in my language lately.  As I navigate through life taking care of my family and home, working a lot of hours to pay the bills, going to church and all the other aspects that fill my days, I recently have found myself a little weary.  

Maybe you can relate.  The tired eyes that just want to close, the body that feels slow and sluggish, the heavy internal (and sometimes external) sigh upon noticing all of the clutter around the home begging to be put away, the overwhelm upon looking at the to-do lists and crossing one task off only to think of three more to add.  Sometimes there is just too much to do. And, sometimes, or many times for me these last few months, there isn’t enough energy to get to it all. Now that I think about it, it hasn’t only been a few months, it’s been years. And by years, I mean decades.

One of my more recent discoveries that came from many breakdowns I endured this year, was that of the importance of getting enough rest.  By rest, I don’t mean sleeping seven or eight hours of sleep at night. Certainly that is a big part of rest. But, it’s much more than that.  I mean the rest that comes during the day time. I know, many of you reading this just gasped out loud and one of you even spit out your coffee (my deepest apologies, you know how I love my coffee!)  

I’m serious, though.  Last year, my crazy busy work schedule had gotten so full that it did not  allow for even 1 minute of potty or coffee breaks (I know!), no room for error or meetings that ran long, and no time to even take in one long, slow breath.  That schedule was like a badge of honor to me. Ridiculous, isn’t it? As I ran from one meeting to the next, from teaching classes to coaching sessions, I felt important.  It didn’t matter if I was spending my time on effective things, or the right things or fun or boring things, I was just happy being needed, being someone others came to. The busy-ness of my schedule fed my ego.  

Let’s explain what I mean by ego.  What I do not mean is the ego where I think I am the greatest thing since sliced bread.  I mean the other one. The ego where I doubt myself, worry about what others think of me and where I am trying to answer the question, “Am I enough?”  The insecure ego that needs to look good on the outside to others so that hopefully the inside self will start to believe it. Yes, that one. (And, by the way, those ego maniacs who act like they’re all that and a bag of chips?  Yep, they have the same internal ego as I do. They feel just as insecure inside; they just show it differently on the outside but for the same purpose.)

There was a big problem with this busy life at work; my outside life was just as demanding on my time and energy.  But, I had no time or energy left for that world. I gave all I had each and every day at the office. Then at the end of the day, I had nothing to give to my passions, my home, my husband, my children or even myself.  I kept this up for years until one day, can you guess what happened? The biggest, ugliest breakdown I’d ever had. Yep, I was thoroughly and utterly exhausted. It’s amazing how you can be that tired and yet find a massive ball of energy inside you to allow yourself a monsoon of a breakdown.  Why do breakdowns take so much energy, anyway?!

I call them breakdowns, but you know what they really are, right?  That’s right…breakthroughs. I’ve heard in classes and books before that the bigger the breakdown, the bigger the breakthrough.  Even though my life has not been thoroughly detailed in any medical or scientific journals, yet, I’m pretty sure that my own breakdowns/breakthroughs have proven this theory many times over.  

This breakthrough led me to discover the importance of rest (among so many other things).  This probably won’t sound very restful when I say this, but, in true Mandy fashion, I sort of went on an obsessive spree to learn about rest; what are different ways to get rest, what are the benefits of rest and how do I incorporate restful tactics into my daily schedule.  I read articles and blog posts online, listened to audible books, prayed and read Bible verses, etc. I became a little obsessed about hearing others’ stories, those who have had similar breakdowns/breakthroughs and how they discovered their need for more rest, how they have acquired it and what it has done for their lives.  

One such book is Present over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful way of Living by Shauna Niequist.  I truly loved this book. I listened to it on Audible, and I’m telling you even her voice was so soothing it made me feel like I was resting my soul just listening to her.  (If you have never started an Audible account, you can get her book – or any first book – absolutely FREE by clicking HERE, so you have nothing to lose!)

We’ve all heard on flights that if the oxygen masks come down, we are to put the mask on ourselves before helping our kids or those around us.  We’ve all heard this analogy in the real world about how we have to take care of ourselves so we can be better parents, spouses, employees… insert any “title” here.  Take care of us so that we can be better suited to take care of others. Yet, it seems so few of us actually do this. I know I have felt that I am actually taking better care of them if I handle their needs now and sacrifice my own needs for theirs.  It feels selfish to me to put my needs first, even though I believe that rest helps me to be better for others.

However, in Shauna’s book, she puts a different spin on it that I had never heard before.  As a devoted Christian, Shauna believes in serving God’s kingdom. Many of us believe we are supposed to serve others whether it’s because of our religious beliefs or other reasons.  It’s a calling many of us feel compelled to honor. From this, we may be led to believe that we are doing the right thing by putting others’ needs before our own self care and rest. But, Shauna said something that resonated with me.  As she was battling her busy, exhausting life, she realized that she was also part of God’s kingdom. If she was supposed to serve His kingdom, then this meant she was also supposed to serve herself.

Now, I wholeheartedly believe that God doesn’t intend for us to serve ourselves by indulging in every whim we have.  He wants us working to honor His plan. Every one of us is part of His plan. We all belong and we all are called to lay down our own lives for His purpose.  So, since we have a job to do for Him above all else, this means we have to take care of the one vessel He gave to us to use for serving… our bodies. We each were given a body to travel around in, to use to store our minds, our hearts and our souls.  We only have it for so long to carry out the missions He has in store for us to support His overall plan. We need to take care of our bodies, every part of them in order to best fulfill the jobs He created us to do.

We all know we should be eating nourishing foods to help supply vitamins and minerals that our bodies need to grow, to function harmoniously and to help fight diseases.  We know we should be exercising regularly to keep our heart and muscles strong. We’ve heard we should drink plenty of water every day. These are topics just about every health class has covered since the beginning of time.  

I want to talk specifically about rest as a way to take care of these bodies God gave us.  If you ask anyone how much sleep a person should be getting each night, the answers will be somewhat varied depending on our age, our current health, etc.  However, most people would tell you that some sleep each night is important. I’m not going to discuss sleep as I want to focus on the other types of rest. The ways we refuel our minds, hearts and souls.  Surely sleep, nutrition, exercise, water, etc. play a huge part in this, but for many of us that is where it ends for caring for our bodies. Therefore, I would argue that this is why many of us are still purely and utterly exhausted. And, why I would bet the house that many of us also do not feel we are adequately succeeding at fulfilling our part in God’s plan.  

So, what does this “day-time” rest look like?  Well, for starters, it could still be sleep. Sometimes you just need a good ole’ nap to get you through the rest of the day.  And, there are also many other ways to get the type of rest I am talking about, the rest that feeds your mind, heart and soul.

Here are a few ways I have found to help me rejuvenate my spirit:

• Volunteer work
• Journaling
• Reading a good book
• Praying
• Coffee or happy hour with a friend
• Exercise
• Gardening
• Going to the beach
• Driving alone on back roads listening to my favorite music
• Dance party with my kids
• Sitting in the sunshine

You may love the same things I love, or you may find your own list of ways that help rejuvenate your own spirit.  Some people take naps, others get productive and finish a project, while others go hiking or spend time in nature.  Find what works for you, and schedule time to go do it! You won’t be sorry. Not only will you feel amazing and refreshed for whatever task is next on your to-do list, but I think you’ll also find some other surprising benefits along the way.

Three Surprising Benefits of Allowing Yourself Rest

1.       You’ll eliminate the unnecessary tasks in your busy life

Taking time on a regular basis will undoubtedly remove some of your schedule that could have gone to those pesky to-do lists.  While this may sound counter-intuitive to getting things done and checked off the list, it will instead, help you entirely remove things from the list.  WHAT?! If you have ever taken a long vacation, then you know what I am talking about. What happens the day before said vacation? You get done in a day what you normally take a week to do, like you somehow have acquired vacation super powers.

Scheduling regular rest blocks into your days or weeks will most definitely allow you less time to get “stuff” done each day.  Naturally, you first will find that you are forced to truly prioritize your list. Once the list is in priority order, you’ll have no choice but to get hyper-focused on those items at the top of the list to assure they get done.  After all, they are the most important items according to you. This means you won’t be going around wasting time in your day procrastinating, you’ll have to get down to business. Last, you’ll see you don’t have time for the items at the bottom of the list.  For those, you will be forced to either get someone else to do them for you or remove them from the list altogether since you have deemed them the least important, anyway. So, not only will some items no longer be necessary at all, but you’ll have become a more focused and effective person.  Good job, You!

2.        You will be able to hear God’s voice more easily

Have you ever been so busy and unsure how you would get everything done, that you said a little prayer to God to help you get through it all?  Only to then realize it’s bedtime and you have no idea where your day went? Or have you been so exhausted, you asked Him for strength and energy to carry through with your responsibilities, only to sit down on the couch and fall asleep for far too many hours?  

When we are so wrapped up in rushing around or so exhausted we can’t remember our own names, we may not take any time to pray at all, or we may manage to pop in a quick 30-second cry for help.  But, we are not allowing any time in our days to actually hear God’s voice or feel His presence. He may be trying to help us, but we aren’t paying attention. Our focus is elsewhere, and before we know it another day is over as we are crashing on to our pillows wondering where He has been all day.  

Taking time out for rest allows us to really listen for His guidance.  It allows us to feel His presence. He is always there trying to be with us, help us, love us.  But if we aren’t mentally there, too, we will miss His help. We may continue to feel lost and exhausted.  We may feel He has abandoned us completely. Sometimes He gives us a gentle nudge through a wake-up call or a breakdown, other times He patiently waits for us to come to Him.  But, He is there. All. The. Time. Slow down so you don’t miss Him.

3.       You’ll develop a more grateful spirit

When we don’t allow ourselves time to rest, heal or rejuvenate our souls, we end up a little grumpy, or in my case, A LOT grumpy.  This keeps us in the negative, focused on what is going wrong in our lives, or what we aren’t accomplishing. It affects how we treat ourselves and others.  It may make us depressed or anxious.

By sticking to your time-blocked rest periods, you’ll be better poised to notice the good stuff.  When you are feeling better, you focus less on the negative and more on the positive. And what you focus on, expands.  So, you expand the positive. The better you feel, the more positive you notice, the more grateful you become. Not only will you better tolerate the busy times, but you’ll actually feel gratitude for those very things causing your days to be so full: your partner, children, family and friends, clients that give you business, your church, your home.  The very things that are filling up our days, making them so busy, are the very things we are the most grateful for and wouldn’t want to live without. These breaks help us to see that. And, you may even start noticing and feeling gratitude toward the little things like rainbows, butterflies, sun or the rain, the garbage truck that always so graciously comes and takes away my trash so that I don’t have to deal with it.  Take these precious breaks and then look around, my friend. What can you notice that makes you feel grateful?